As a Peace Corps Volunteer in Eswatini, art was a constant. Watercolor by candlelight under the thatched roof at night. Endless hours of arts and crafts with kids - at the schools, in groups, but most commonly, coloring with kiddos on a stoop, as the brilliant African sunset stretched wide across the sky.  

At the time I chalked it up as something fun to do, something the kids likely wouldn’t have access to otherwise, and something I loved too. It took me almost a decade to see how therapeutic those times were; how expansive those moments, in the middle of difficult times.  And the meaning I discovered there gave shape to a nebulous path that was forming under my feet.  

Having a bittersweet soul (I feel seen by Susan Cain’s definition - a pull to longing, poignancy, and sorrow; an acute awareness of passing time; and a curiously piercing joy at the beauty of the world) for which parenthood has become a balm and an intensifier, as well as a pivotal and constant sendero shaper.  Watching these babies’ faces change and grow right before my very eyes, relearning and knowing more deeply - wonder, courage, presence, joy. Motherhood makes my bittersweet cup runneth over. 

Early on in those motherhood days, the Martha Graham quote “It is not your business to determine how good it is, nor how valuable it is, nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open.” was referenced at church, and it rattled and called to a deep part of me. It stayed with me and served as another marker along the path.

As I emerged from early motherhood- 2 things were happening that guided my sendero’s direction. My beloved dad died. Walking the way there with him lifted the veil between the seen and unseen for me, as well as deepened the calling that the right time is now. As I was painting more and more, I was also seeing with new clarity, how therapeutic and meaningful that art time was, over a decade ago, in my hut in Eswatini.  

Peace Corp’s mission of world peace and friendship feels as compelling to me now, as it did as a starry eyed kid, and has continued to stretch and shape this sendero. We’ve recently moved our 3 kids and one bewildered dog to Paraguay, where my deeply good and salt-of-the-earth husband helps to lead their country-wide program. “Sendero” is partly a nod to my time here, struggles with learning Spanish, and its beautiful and inherent reminder that I’m on the path.  

I’m a middle child, mess maker, metaphor user, meaning seeker — enchanted by the mystical. Soul Sendero is my step towards intuition, creativity and connection.  Would love to see you along the way.

-Becky Pedrotty Cowen, Soul Sendero